Boring Boring Chelsea

Okay, that's the chant opposing fans used on Chelsea a few years back for their negative approach under coaches, Jose Mourinho and Claudio Ranieri. I'm now relating that to how my job's making me boring as a person. Not only that I can't be myself in the office but even outside as well (within the towers area) in case one of my many (I seriously don't know how many) subordinates saw me acting 'inappropriately' like i normally do when with my clicks, I'd lose the respect that I require for my job.

And because I feel I'm turning plan black and white Charles, I'm trying to be more attentive to my topics of discussion these days with everyone. My results? Here it is - I just noticed a few things that support my idea as well.

The topics of discussion amongst your colleague are:

1. Your workload
   
2. Your boss
   
3. Your annual leave
4. Your bonus (if got la~)
5. Your appraisal
6. Your trainings
7. Your office
8. Your company policy
9. Your salary (credited in yet or not)
10. Your claims
11. Your assignments
12. Your career paths

So I've been thinking.. Hmm.. Perhaps I should be creative in this new thing I'm going through. How about introducing these:

1. Fashion (office attire/brands/mega sales)
   
2. Recent happenings (whatever's happening elsewhere)
3. Gossips (scandals/celebrity/rumours)
4. Sports (football/tennis/badminton/F1)
5. Chicks Rating - okaay.. just kidding, am trying so hard to think out of the box!
   
6. HELP NEEDED!!! *brain melted*
   

So yeah, get wut imma treyiner sayh? x__x Siigghh~

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Everyday in the Office

Everyday after lunch from around 2.30pm to 3.30pm.. that's the time of the day when my head just doesn't work and my eyes feel as though someone put glue between my eyelids.. I was caught sleeping once in my first month and I was determined not to have a repeat >.< So this is how I go to the battlefield everyday: cookies and sweets!! :D

And once a while, those same eyes would linger and glue itself at a piece of photo taken not too long ago with some very lovely people. I know I still see some of the people in the photo, but it's different without everyone together.. the atmosphere and feeling of being at PIPE is also very different. I miss the moments everyday. Determined, I'd blink away some feelings that somehow escaped from my new fresh box and continue with my work.

Yes, I'm still missing PIPE :')

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Ridiculous! - I still look the same okay~

Today, twice I met 2 people whom I knew from UTP and TWICE, they had no idea who I was!! wth??

First, at lunchtime, a guy sat in on my table and introduced himself to me.. I stared at him and said, "Hey don't I already know you??" ..and after 2 long seconds with him not making any recognition in knowing me, I pulled out my wallet and showed him my university matrix card. Then only he went "ooh!!! Charlz!!~~ Sorry2 so sorry x kenal.. huhuhu"

Then, later in the afternoon, a guy I knew walked into my office, to my cubicle, held out his hand to introduce himself and asked for information. I shook his hand, gave him his information, and held him back. "Hey you're from UTP~ Don't you recognize me?" ..and again, he showed the same puzzled look without any recognition. Fed up, I took out my wallet again and pulled out my matrix card. Then only he said "Ooohh!!! Charlz.. emcee for IDC, we worked together before! sorry3"

Then I remember myself showing that card to Reen, a friend whom I met in PIPE training and also from UTP but we've never met throughout the 5 years there. She looked at that card, then looked at me a little bewildered.. "No wonder I tak kenal you time dlu, tak sama langsung"

Conclusion? The difference then and now is that I now wear contact lens full time. I guess I can be Clark Kent from Daily Planet and Superman now LOL~ Naaaahh... I dont think I look too different, spectacles or none >.< Either that it's because ever since I joined this company, I'm increasingly beginning to look like the CEO!

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I AM Charles - Period!

Dear Tan,
I am investigating on ########### and would like to request your cooperation in assisting me. Could you provide me with the list of staff’s name who can access ########## from 01/09 to 30/09.
Thank you

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Dear En Azahar
Yes – I will provide you with the necessary information ASAP and cooperate in your investigations in any ways possible.
By the way, I humbly take pride of my name, Charles – which is in my birthcert and IC, thus I would appreciate it if you could refer to me as such in the future.
Thanks and Cheers!

Okay, it might sound like I was overdoing it but I had to make a point. But my name is LEGAL and not something leisurely-given in the middle of my life yada yada~ Grrr~

Yes, I'm Charles Tan, Systems Control Executive, P*tronas Holdings. *shakes hand confidently with a glowing smile*

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Partial Self Recovery

Hi I'm Charles Tan, Systems Executive. I'm from Systems and Control Department, P*tronas Holding Company. Pleasure to meet you.

*shakes hand confidently with a glowing smile*


Note: due to low self-esteem problem, I shall not mention my division name anymore, unless necessary.

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Job Dis-Satisfaction

Despite going through all the character building and self development, it only made it crystal clear to myself - that I am discontent with where I am now. The challenge remains there but this is definitely not where I envisioned myself to be. Yes I have many people reporting to me, they call me boss, I approve their leave applications, I control the whole division's ICT inventory, and earn respectably, how many fresh grads can be where I am now - but to me, all these so what?

Some people remain ambitious and willing to step out just to achieve their dream job despite being paid lesser, while others could be willing to stay and slack around as long as their bank balance make them smile. I feel trapped and at times, lost. I look at that certain person in my PIPE group who's riding her dream job and willing to even forget looking for a partner just to focus on a career that she's always wanted for so long. As much as I rue, I'm envious :)

The company must be cursing themself if that program makes everyone feels this way. I admit, it was good - cleared my mind, sharpen my leadership skills, develop my awareness and harness my potential.. but in doing that, it does many other things to me.. like thinking ahead of what I want in life. I don't know where I'm heading yet. Currently, I am dis-satisfied but will have to persevere like a Bee :)

Thankfully, I have some wonderful people around me out of office at least. Someone please smack me and tell me to be grateful for what I have! (but u know we humans can never get enough) >.<

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The PIPE After-Taste

We said our goodbyes, we hugged, we smiled, we wished each other luck, but it was all a mask for what's happening on the inside.. The 17 days that we've spent with each other, short it may seem to be, created a bond that ties us. As I left PERMATA, I felt like I was leaving a family. The last session was closed with a rather cordial mood but deep inside, I was screaming and not wanting to let go. Perhaps it's just me being stupid over this. This group that I was thrown into was one of the best things that has ever happened to me and there simply isn't enough time to get to know everyone let alone these people that were closest to you throughout the program. Company values aside, Im happy that I take away with me many lessons and learnings from the people closest to me too.

Observing our leader, Suff brought out some of my speaking-your-mind quality that had somehow hid itself over the years in UTP. How he exert his influence calmly and lead without being forceful or aggressive is a fantastic skill. Lady Sal is one that I deeply admire being ambitious, visionary, and very charming amongst all. Never before had I come across someone with such maturity from my own age without coming across badly. Affan was someone I had direly underestimated from the start probably due to his playfulness - he turned out to be extremely sharp in mind and values friendship deeply. It was plain (or rather, amusing :P) to see how he was almost overwhelmed with emotions at dinner, singing. Hafiz is someone I wish I had enough time to get to know - despite his quiet nature, he seem to have many ideas going on from the inside. Some of his suggestions for our activities I felt was really really good. As for Angie, I am glad that I get the chance to work with her. I've known her for a long time in UTP but we've never talked as much as we did for all the 5 years as compared to this 17 days!

Hazman is just like me in the sense that he took his time to settle in the group. When the chance came for him to lead during the facilitating activities for community service, I thought he did brilliantly. His empathy towards the people around him makes him a good friend to have. Reen is someone I share some interests in namely photography, series, and Man United! (hell yeah!) She's a very comfortable company to have, very pleasant to talk with and I think she's one that can claim to emerge from PIPE a new confident person. Aini, Nuqman, and Adil in combination complements us all as a more rounded group. Aini's a little mother-like from my observation, very caring towards everyone. Nuqman is like a punchbag for everyone to tease and cracks jokes on - and my, how red he'll get! Adil and Affan would be the main culprits most of the times. Knowing Adil is like a breath of fresh air, we've never met in UTP but it's a privilege to know a tech senior who shares their experiences well.

What they all have in common is the confidence element and when you have that, you'll be surprised to see how much changed a person is. Confidence too, is something that I have curiously or somehow lost throughout my uni years and now, thanks to PIPE and this group, I feel reinvented. And all this happened within the 17 days period without myself realizing it too.. until now. I have you guys to thank for :)

It's been long since I went to such character building and self development program and have it immensely shape myself as a person. I miss these people so much that I feel scared to express myself properly for people will think that I'm too soft and weak on the inside. Parting tears for instance came 4 hours later after I've reached my house and settled down to reflect on the day and week. I hope we'll all get to see each other still, albeit in a different setting this time - the twin towers office :) (exception to those in kerteh and miri though)


izza, might need to amuse you on s again - really difficult

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My Smile Antidote

This is a response to Izza's future post - wow, first time in history I think. A blog that replies to another person's blog post that does not even exist yet XP hahaha! But I happen to know what she's gonna post about so when she does, you'll know how this becomes a reply to that! :P

So here goes.. working life for the first 2 weeks have been boring. Not much excitement.. but starting the 3rd week is better. Time passes faster now that I have something to work on. But for the past 2 weeks, while I'm down and still learning my new role, everytime I come back from lunch, I feel a whole lot more cheerful - no, not because I was hungry before lunch, but because on the way to lunch, most of the time, I'll walk past Burberry concept store's window :) Yes, you know who's the new face of Burberry don't you? Not hard to guess la.. seeing this post so well decorated with the pictures that I captured like a stalker from outside the shop's window also know already la~~

Emma Charlotte Duerre Watson!!! XD

...and whenever I go to lunch - to and fro - I'll walk past that shop, twice! So no wonder it changes my mood so much. I'll surely point and smile while my colleagues look at me with the sweat expression. Ah, yes, that one *points at the reader's face now* Hahaha!!

So Izza, where's your Smile Antidote? XD The one that gave you the expression like mine below: (hahaha!!)

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Assalamualaikum Tuan Charles!

It's a surprise to be referred to as Tuan Charles and even more so to realize that it will probably stick around for at least 2-3 years to come.. but yet another shocking discovery today, is that I amusingly find my status in the database to be a Muslim!~~LOL

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My 1st Week in Office

The first 3 days were very painful (1st day starts Tuesday due to Monday being Merdeka, thus this week has 4 working days only).. In the sense that I was suffering from boredom and stress because I had NOTHING to do :( There's also fear creeping in after collecting some bits and pieces of information on what my job actually covers. For the worst parts of the first 3 days, I have been doing nothing but reading random books. I was originally given a book that stories on Petronas's Successes that's as thick as Harry Potter's 5th book and I finished it in 2 days +___+ *sigh*

Today's alot better as I managed to follow up with helpdesk on my applications for email, pc, network access, and telephone extension.. and at the end of the day, I get my email running with Outlook, phone in place, and MOC up too! :) currently using a loaned pc (sounds familiar like when my first few days in Shell :P) as my own pc will only arrive next week at best. Now's weekend and hopefully next week will be better.. nah, it WILL.. because it simply cannot get ANY worse =__="

Today, I don't know what I was thinking, I tried to swipe my staff card at the Touch n' Go sensor at the LRT.. wth?? I was so embarassed that when I finally realized what the problem was after 2 seconds staring at my staff card that malfunctioned at the Touch n' Go sensor, I didn't even dare to look behind at the long queue, as quick as lightning, pull out the correct card from my pocket, swipe, and dash off with an abnormally fast pace! LOL

-embarrassed-

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